So here I am.... it is Tuesday morning, which I guess it should be good since after all, it isn't a Monday morning, but alas it sure feels like one. I am a stay at home mom to 5 children...yes 5 and I am 33 years old...yes 33. Please do not tell me I am crazy. People like to say that to me...even complete strangers in the supermarket. Today is election day or as our school district likes to put it Superintendents conference day....whatever you would like to call it, the kids are off from school. One might think this means I could finally sleep in, but no I was up earlier today than usual. My children are ages 13, 11, 8, 6, and 2. I have 2 boys, then a girl, then a boy, then a girl.
My husband and my children are my whole life...literally. There is nothing else. OK well I am lying a bit....I just joined the gym. What I am saying is what is a mother of 5 children to do with her life? I have to say I am lost. I am one confused soul. It just so happens I have been spending my life trying to figure out where I belong. Where do I fit in? At this rate I fear I may never know. Now don't get me wrong I love my family. At the end of the day they are all I have...but see that's just it, that last sentence I typed with out even thinking.
Lets say my day begins around 5 am (which most mornings it does) I am cleaning, waking up kids, fixing breakfast, walking the dog, getting papers signed and kids out the door, oh and starting that very first important (no not cup of coffee) LOAD OF LAUNDRY. Once everyone has been walked or driven to the bus stop or school, we have dishes, more laundry, making my bed, and endless hours of Nick Jr. and Dora The Explorer. Yup good times over here. I spend hours thinking what can I do with my life, so that I am actually feeling like I am doing something constructive, something for myself, and still very easily accessible to my family. Does a thing even exist? I haven't had a job in almost 7 years!! So on to 3 o'clock when everyone gets home from school. Then its homework, and room cleaning, showers, snacks, dinner, and finally bed time at 8 pm. I then get the honor of sitting on the couch and watching my husband play video games...of course I can join him if I have nothing else to do...say like go on facebook and play bejeweled. I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. I am of course just venting and hoping that maybe with my thoughts out there in virtual land, maybe I will be able to think more clear. So maybe I wont think about it at all anymore today, I will think of it tomorrow, after all tomorrow is another day....
